How to Test if a Man is a TOTAL douchebag (my post-surgery booty call)

While my blog is definitely not focussed on medical anecdotes, getting my Fallopian tubes removed is certainly something that feels like a big deal to me.  If you missed (and care about) the back story, you can find it here:

So my surgery was on Tuesday this week. I got home around 5pm my time, with my Mom, who stayed with me overnight (Doctor’s orders).

I had sent a few text messages after I was out of the worst of the recovery, to some real life and blogging friends, to let them know I was okay. But I hadn’t really been online at all.

Once I got settled in my bed, I opened my phone and saw I had a message on Whatsapp. I talk to a couple of friends there but not many. I was a little surprised to see it was from the chef (aka #47), the 29 year-old who I saw once and ever since then, sends me naughty text messages with cock shots every few months. I haven’t heard from him in a few months.

Here’s what he served up to me:


I laughed out loud. It hurt.

I tested a theory…and sent him back a text.


Guess what? I heard NOTHING. Check out the time stamp above, it was over six hours later.

Don’t get me wrong – I wasn’t under any illusions that he really wanted me to be his girlfriend. I knew he just wanted me for sex whenever he ran through whatever other women were in his life.

But still. Even with an occasional fuck buddy, you would think there would be some remote semblance of caring.

And the dumbest thing, which Johnny pointed out to me when I told him about this?

The chef and I had been fuck buddies, even if not recently, and he might have had a shot sometime again in the future. But this guy is so stupid that he doesn’t even pretend to care about my well-being. Any chance he might have had is burned now… because there is NO WAY IN HELL I will ever let him near me after this.

Even in my worst, most desperate moment. It’s not going to happen.

So folks…if you want to test if a lover / potential lover / fuck buddy has any care for you at all? Just send them a text saying you had surgery.

0 thoughts on “How to Test if a Man is a TOTAL douchebag (my post-surgery booty call)

  1. I’m totally going to keep this in mind… It would do me well to start testing for douchebaggery right off the bat before I’m tempted to make excuses for said behavior. Great post! Hope you are healing up ok 🙂

      • “I doubt if women can be so callous… ” Believe me, they can. When I got divorced, half the female members of my family were more interested in digging the dirt on why I split with my ex, than my emotional wellbeing. It was a real eye opener.
        Women can be just as vile, self centered and selfish as men. Not this guy, though, he’s clearly got major empathy issues.
        I hope you’re feeling better, and on the mend.

  2. Are you alright? Surgery went fine? Don´t worry you´ll recover in a blink of an eye. I´ll be there by the side of your bed holding your hand. Anything you want or need just tell me and I´ll bring it to you.

    I should have passed the test

  3. Great test, Ann!
    Just a quick note to say that I just had a similar surgery a few weeks ago. BEST. DECISION.EVER. I had the works 🙂
    Good luck with recovery, DO rest and yes, you will feel better soon!! Thinking of you. xo

  4. Damn, Texting that in the afternoon planning his sexcapade that evening? Wishful thinking guy. He most likely saw you were definitely not going to sleep with him because the surgery and then turned to the next text. This guy doesnt care about you so leave him alone. Everyone needs sex, but not everyone needs to be treated like shit.

    • I’m not surprised at the timing of the text, actually…so many young guys are super last minute planners lol. It made me crazy.

      I have no doubt that he just saw my text and said – oh well yeah no fucking there.

      And absolutely, for all the shit I have put up with, total lack of caring is a deal breaker for me.

  5. I suppose it’s too much to hope your next blog tells the story of how he didn’t write back because he was busy the rest of the day putting together the most elaborate thoughtful get-well convalescence party in human history. At least you got a laugh out of it. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

  6. That is pretty cold and inconsiderate of him. And that is to much time wasted on him.

    Hope you got out of it with a smile and feeling better that next day.
    A new dawn a new day to start with a smile.

  7. Oh gosh, I’ve been busying having minor break downs over not having disinfectant at home to mop the floors and here you’re having surgery!

    Glad to hear you got home ok and recovering well.

    Ps. Yes, he is a total doucheburger.

  8. Catching up after being offline for the week…so, the true test of his stupidity will be the text that will inevitably arrive in a few weeks or few months : “so, if you’re finally recovered, do you wanna fuck tonight?” *smirk* yes, he is indeed a douchebag and a dumb one at that. As others have stated before me, I hope you are feeling better, especially as JohnnyId will be there soon 😀

What do you think?