It’s not a coincidence that I started my blog on the first day of my birthday month. I tend to be reflective around this time, and last year was no exception. More so, given it had only been a few weeks after I’d moved into my new place, and just a few weeks before then that my ex and I had ended our marriage.
At the urging of a close friend, I decided to re-start my journal, and decided to do it in blog format. And off I went.
I blogged steadily last September. My sex drive was super high (it still is, so this is probably just how it’s going to be). I had rediscovered my sexual confidence, which was amazing. I was feeling good about myself yet was sleeping with pretty much every man I met for “drinks”. Here are some highlights:
- When to give a guy a chance Part 1 and Part 2 (really, ladies, sometimes they will surprise you)
- Two guys, one night
- An embarrassment of riches (too many cocks) (engaging with way too many men at the same time)
- The bad with the good (when one bails, move to the other)
- Where does the time go? (multiple dates in one week)
- Balls of confusion (getting frustrated with it all)
But the endless bullshit of dating I experienced was wearing thin. The pace of it all was exhausting. The weeks I didn’t have my son, I’d be on dates most nights. I was seeing my girlfriends and family but things were out of balance. It felt odd to be spending so much time engaging in something that was fun but not reaping the rewards. I really wanted to find someone super-sexual who also wanted to date. It had eluded me. Here are some examples:
- I learned many guys just want a hot text or phone sex
- A guy I thought liked me went radio silent, then I ran into him again (it keeps going…you get the drift…check my Lovers page for the full story on the Cook)
- A guy said he needed to know my weight before he met me – I kept talking to him – and he followed up with saying he only wanted me for phone sex
- I found out some guys put up profiles of who they want to be instead of who they are
- I put up with a guy who bailed on me more than once
- I’d been catfished
- I’d been called a c*nt online
I had experienced, in a very short timeframe, much of the crap that goes on. I wrote only 8 posts in October and 10 in November, and was very frustrated.
So I stepped back, removed myself off a couple of the dating sites, focussed on a few guys worthy of an effort, and stopped writing about it. One of my last posts from that time was called My New Rules.
I really missed writing, which was a surprise. I started again on a trip with my Mom the last days in February. I’ve written almost every day since then.
It’s been satisfying beyond what I ever imagined. It’s a way to process my life. I’ve made some great friends, I’ve gotten some wonderful support, and met a man I’m in love with. It’s an amazing thing.
Some of you have been active followers since the very beginning, and thank you for that. I have to give a shout-out to Ranting Crow who is follower #13 and still around.
I also can’t believe that this is post #225.
My very first post is still getting traffic – My Open Marriage and Unused Hall Pass. In addition to the ones I shared above, here are some other old posts you might enjoy:
About my marriage and affair
- Sexual Reawakening (about Faraway Lover and our first time together)
- Divorce | Not with a bang but with a whimper
- Great compliments from young men
- It’s a small world, after all
- Why women are called sluts while men are players
There are still old stories I want to tell. More about my relationship with the man I call Faraway Lover. There’s a second faraway lover who has yet to grace these pages. And more about my marriage.
Here’s to another year. Thanks for reading, from the bottom of my heart.