I’m prepping my six-year-old son for Johnny Id’s visit in just under two weeks.
Perhaps I haven’t mentioned it, but I’m totally putting Johnny through his paces when he first arrives. It’s not meant to be test, since it’s driven by a schedule I am loath to change, but I suppose it has turned out that way.
He arrives on Friday. We will have the night and next morning alone together.
Saturday mid-day we will go to my Mom and Step-Dad’s house to pick up my son (they have him overnight every Friday). So we will be there for a few hours together, perhaps for a meal. Yeah, I know…within 24 hours and the poor guy will meet three of my most important family members. No pressure.
Sunday is the day I drop my son off to my ex’s house, so yup, Johnny will meet my ex husband.
Feel free to email him your sympathies – my contact page has his email address.
So all that to say, I thought it was important I start talking to my son about this guy, so it’s not completely weird.
I had mentioned a couple of times that I had a friend named Johnny that lived in such-and-such, and that he’s coming to visit. But I needed to take it up a notch, and here’s how it went:
- Me: Honey, you know how I’ve been telling you about my friend Johnny and how he’s coming to visit?
- Him: Yes Mummy.
- Me: Well, he’s a special friend of mine and he’s going to stay with us for a little bit. You will first meet him when we pick you up from Nana’s house. He’s a special friend to me like Colleen is to your Daddy.
- Him: Okay, Mummy.
There’s a long pause.
- Him: Mummy?
- Me: Yes?
- Him: What about the man with the big hat who cooked us all that pasta sauce?
- Me (inside voice): are you fucking kidding me? He remembers the Giant who he met for all of 2 hours?
- Me (outside voice): What about him?
- Him: Was he a special friend too?
- Me: No honey, he was just a regular friend.
Now, before you judge, what the heck would you have said to him?!
I have to keep in mind that he will keep everything in that little vault of his. Things will get reported back to his father, my nanny, my Mom, and random strangers, most likely. I’m glad that the Giant is the only man he’s ever met; knowing just how much he retains is a good reminder for me to treat any interaction with caution.
Johnny will be the first that has spent any amount of time with him. He has his own child so I’m not inherently worried. He and my son have already “met” each other a couple of times via Skype. It’s important that they both like each other, frankly.
My son and I had another great conversation when I tried to tackle sleeping arrangements…but that will wait for another day.
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