My son doesn't want to sleep with a hairy man.

As I mentioned before, I’m prepping my six-year-old son for Johnny Id’s visit in under two weeks.

The first conversation was me telling him how Johnny was a special friend.

I have been thinking a lot about what I will do about the sleeping arrangements for the couple of nights that my son will be with me when Johnny is here. I decided I’d really like it if Johnny slept in my bed those nights. But I also want to make sure my son was okay with it, and it doesn’t feel weird for him.

In contrast, my ex says that despite dating Colleen for a year now, she has never slept in his bed while my son is there. She comes over with her girls and they all sleep in the pull out couch in my his office. I’m not sure what the right approach is, but I think it lies somewhere between having sex openly in front of your children, and hiding all affection from one’s child.

Although he sleeps in his own bed, my son has a habit of occasionally getting up at 5am and wandering down the hall to my room. I don’t kick him out. I like it and since the time will go by so quickly, I don’t worry about it. And anyway, there’s nothing better than waking up to “Mummy can I tell you something important….I love you”.

So here’s how our conversation went.

  • Me: Honey, remember Johnny who we were talking about yesterday?
  • Him: Yes Mummy.
  • Me: Well, as you know, he’s a special friend of mine. I wanted to know how you would feel if when he was here, he slept with me in my bed.
  • Him: What about if I get up in the middle of the night and want to sleep in your bed?
  • Me: That would be fine. I know that Johnny wouldn’t mind if you came into my bed when he was there.
  • Him: Would I need to squeeze in between the two of you? Would he go and sleep on the floor?
  • Me: I am not making him sleep on the floor. If you or he were uncomfortable, then when you come into my bed, he can go sleep in yours.
  • Him: I don’t think, so, Mummy. I don’t want him to be in the bed with you and me.
  • Me: Why not?
  • Him: I don’t want to sleep with a hairy man.

We giggled our heads off together.

Johnny would probably get upset if I didn’t clarify that he is not particularly hairy. We have skyped a couple of times when my son was around, and he’s never shown off any chest hair. So where he got this idea, I have no clue.

My son comes first, of course, but the thought of not being able to sleep in Johnny’s arms every night we are together, feels a bit torturous.

I’m still working on figuring out what to do. Will probably just see how it goes.

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0 thoughts on “My son doesn't want to sleep with a hairy man.

  1. As they say, children say the darnedest things… They all grow up in their own way, but you mold that too. Just be you, sounds like you have a good relationship with him, you’ll know… BTW, what does he think of your doorstop? hehe.

  2. Now who wouldn’t want to sleep with that? You certainly won’t get cold. This is a tough one. I would say “this” or “that” is the answer but there really isn’t one. Does he snore? Does he drool? Does his toupe slip to one side at night?

    You see? There are more questions than answers. You are going to have to improvise, me thinks.

  3. An interesting pickle, one I’ve yet to encounter. My smallest does climb into bed occasionally but he’s usually on the edge of the bed. Good luck. May need to be on the moment to figure this one out.

  4. This is always a tough, tough situation! One thing my wife does when my stepson comes into our room is to take the middle spot. That way she is between me and him, and its not so oogy.

  5. New reader here! Loving your stories.

    Your ex says Coleen has never slept in his bed when your son is there. Has she slept in his bed when her daughters are there?

    • Welcome Nichole!! I’m so glad you are enjoying what you read.

      It’s a good question you ask – I don’t think she’s there much with her kids when my son isn’t there. She also splits her kids with her ex husband.

  6. sometimes giving the decision of adults makes for some confusion for kids who can’t yet conceptualize adult ramifications but you know your own kid. I taught little ones for years so I know that some can handle big decisions because they blow it off. I was six when my Mom asked me who I wanted to live with ( divorce) and I distinctly remember thinking “What are you asking me for? You’re the adult.” Giving a foundation that kids can then make decisions from is a nice way to instill a sense of security, yet making it clear that your son ‘s feelings are just as important. I think you did that. Good luck – oh boy, I’m thinking he’s going to walk in on you two… omg : ) Be prepared lol

    • I’m not surprised you have that memory. I too am a huge believer that there are times you definitely have to be the adult. Kids need to feel secure and rules are one of those ways.

      But I can definitely tell you, there won’t be any sex shenanigans when my son is under the same roof! It’s only for 2 of our 10 nights…we should be able to handle it πŸ™‚

  7. I am traveling to another planet for the next 5 days. No cell, no electricity, no humans (except my 3 buddies.) Nothing but quiet, star gazing, and maybe one or two drinks. You will be in my thoughts (NONONONO!!! not like that… Geeze) while I’m away. Hoping you mend well as “that day” draws closer.

    Get well and accept my magical healing hug.

  8. You can decorate the doorstop at Christmas, make a Easter tree, add scary eyes for Halloween and so forth.

    I’ve three grown sons, whatever you chose to do while your friend is in house or bed, it will be just fine. As long as his Mom is happy he will be too.

  9. That is the cutest thing I have read recently. I’m a huge admirer of your blog and particularly how you are raising your son. In my distant past experience, I could tell when my kids were comfortable enough with a boyfriend that I could have sleepovers while they were in the house.

    • Thank you so much, Janelle – that’s so nice of you to say. I’m glad you are enjoying what you are reading πŸ˜€

      And yeah, I think I will know from how my son is, what to do.

  10. Haha I wouldn’t want to sleep with hairy man. I would not even want to sleep with me πŸ˜› Not that I have much hair but enough to dislike it.

    I like the little guy he is as smart as his mummy. He knows what he wants.

What do you think?