It’s been a really busy few days and I’ve had no time to write. I stayed at my Dad’s house on Friday night – he lives about 90 minutes from where I live. We talked about history repeating itself – he left me for work after my parents split, and now my ex husband is doing the same. Like father, like ex.
I’m not sure what this says about my choice of husband. What attracted me but wasn’t good for me.
Then after driving back into the city on Saturday morning, I had brunch with my Mom and an aunt who was married to one of my father’s brothers. I haven’t seen her in 25 years or so. During that brunch, I found out that not only did my grandfather sexually abuse one of my aunts, another uncle (her older brother) did as well.
My Dad wanted me to have nothing to do with his parents. I’m sure he knew about what his father did to his sister, but he has never discussed it with me.
I’m still processing this. The thought of father-daughter sexual relations makes my skin crawl. Of course sister-brother does as well. My aunt (the abused one) has never had therapy for this. Neither has my uncle, as far as anyone knows.
Before I knew about this, I could have written a whole book on the dysfunction of my Fathers family. While this helps explain some of it, it’s not something I particularly wanted to know. Wanted to face.
I’m sure some of you out there have had to face similar issues. I welcome any advice on how to process it.