In my “Very Inspiring Blogger” post I mentioned the list of all the guys I’d slept with. Well, I pulled out an old diary this morning and I found the part of the list that goes up to meeting my ex-husband.
It’s a long list.
The only man who ever knew how many men I’d slept with was my ex (I guess now that number will go up exponentially).
Ironically, when I disclosed to him the number, he thought I said “90”. So when he finally knew the correct number years later – 32 (and this is the first time I’m putting it out there) it was a relief to him. While I no longer remember how it came up, at the time I was horrified he’d thought I was such a raging slut for years (okay, no judgement on those of you who slept with 90 guys by age 25…I did know one woman who’d done that). He said something along the same lines.
So yeah, 32 men by the time I was 25. I started just before my 14th birthday. I know many parents who don’t want to hear that. In my desire to continue to be really fucking brutally honest, I thought I should put this out there. You’ll note, I haven’t said how many it’s been since my ex husband. That’s why I referred to this as part 1…in case I really decide to go there.
Looking at the list, there were some names that made me laugh and some that made me cringe and a couple that, well, I have no reaction to whatsoever because I have no clue who they were. So I came over to my desk to hammer this out, because I thought some fun could be had.
Here goes. No names, but descriptions, of all the men I’ve slept with:
- Age 13. My first. The 17-year-old who lived up the street, who introduced me to motorcycles and Led Zeppelin. We dated for 3 months.
- The one I wish was my first. He was my boyfriend in grade 7, for 6 months! Drove our mothers crazy at the thought. We got back together at age 14. I was his first and we had a lot of fun exploring sex together for 4 months.
- A hot guy from my neighborhood. We had sex in his grandparents house while they were away for the winter. The only thing available to sneak out of their liquor cabinet was Mint Schnapps. I still think of him every time I see a bottle. Years later he ended up playing a popular stuffed mascot on a children’s tv show. My friends mocked me incessantly that I’d slept with [the character].
- The rebellious alternative guy who introduced me to the Smiths and the Cure. We dated for a few months. He’s now married to another woman from my high school and he hasn’t aged well. We are Facebook friends.
- Age 15. The rock star. I was his first, at age 17. We dated for 18 months and he
brokecrushed my heart. He’s still married to the woman he cheated on me with and broke up with me for. He continued to sleep with me for months after we broke up. He’s a rock star. Literally. I have some stories to share about him.
- Age 16. A very muscular dude I picked up whilst on a beach vacation with a cousin and a friend. My friend is a redhead, my cousin dark haired, and I am blonde. We terrorized that beach that weekend. I have no idea what that guy’s last name is, but I do have pictures of him.
- Another alternative guy from my high school who was a classic bad boy. Treated me, and a few of my friends, like shit. We are also Facebook friends and he’s handsome but no sign of the bad dude he used to be.
- Age 17. My second real high school romance. Two years, one year too many. We were in love, but he wasn’t right for me. I tried to break it off several times but he didn’t want to hear it. When he finally did, we were both working on a stage play together and he read my journal which included me sleeping with another man and he told the. entire. crew. over the headsets.
- The much older man who I first met in a foreign country at age 14. He completely captivated me and we had a totally non-physical, but heady, time together. I still have all the letters he wrote me. He came to my city to visit and I stayed in his hotel and fucked him and also realized I didn’t like him as much as I thought I did. And yeah, my ex-boyfriend (#8) read all about it.
- A fling during a foreign beach vacation. He picked me up by the pool, we had an awesome time together, and I informed my Mom I was staying another week to live with him. He introduced me to anal sex (I didn’t do it again for many years). With him, I had my first threesome – on the beach, no less.
Thus ends the high school list. I sped up a bit in college / university and am pretty sure I have less to say about most of them.
- The leader of my “frosh week” group who was lovely and smart. I have no idea why we broke it off after 2 months together.
- A foreign speaking guy who picked me up at a nightclub on the dance floor. His accent was super hot. We lasted 2 months but I didn’t ever write down his last name.
- A guy I met in high school who was dubbed “nordic man” by me and my friends because he was gigantically tall and blond. We had an on-again off-again relationship for several months. I saw him recently at a sports game and he has not aged well.
- The first man I met who I could see myself living with. A few years older, had his shit together, smart, funny guy. I met his parents, we went on a trip together, and it was great. Until we ended up not having sex because he had issues, and became just friends. It fizzled. A couple of months later we ran into each other at a bar and he picked me up and we had the hottest sex ever. Now he’s an attorney and lives pretty close to me. We reconnected over coffee two years ago. I think he’s still single, but imagine he’s still fucked up about sex.
- A football (American football) player. He had the biggest biceps on the entire team. Prematurely balding. I really liked him but it was only an off-and-on thing…for a couple of years.
- A very close family friend. Some would say he was like my brother. But I’d always had a crush on him and one night we were out partying at a bar and the tequila body shots started and, well, we finished it. It lasted a few months but we were in different cities and our families didn’t know, and he met the woman who would be his ex-wife.
- A football player. Yes, you will notice a pattern. He was in his final year and I in my first, when we met. We slept together a few times, usually after chinese food dinners or hanging out at bars. After one notable night, the next day he introduced me to his fiance. I was mortified…I had no idea. I do think I slept with him again, however.
- Another football player. I think we fucked in my student council office one night after being at the bar together. He was the quarterback. My roommates ran round saying “Ann sacked the quarterback” for days afterwards.
- A military dude, who had the quickest recovery period of any lover I’ve ever had. He was amazing. We were together a few months and I have to read my diary from that time to remember why we broke it off.
- Another football player and a bouncer at a bar. We were friends and I’d liked him for a while. Once we stayed at the campus pub after it shut down, played strip pool, and ended up having sex on the pool table and in the kitchen at the bar.
- A professional football player. I quite liked him and I thought he liked me too. Until he disappeared for two weeks with no contact and I found out afterwards he also used cocaine a lot. Ironically he now works for my company, but a long distance away.
Looking at that list, there is one common theme. Football players. I actually don’t like the game at all. One of my roommates played the game (no, I didn’t sleep with him) and tried to get me to appreciate it, but it didn’t work. But the players? That’s another thing entirely. I like big, strong, guys.
You know, I think I need to stop there. There are more to come. Perhaps this will be a 3 part series… assuming it’s enjoyable to read about. Definitely a trip down memory lane for me!