Click here for Volume 1, Volume 2, Volume 3, Volume 4, Volume 5, and Volume 6. I should probably buy anyone that makes it through all of these a beer or something. Maybe a case. There were also the first two I wrote about him…but enough of that.
So, I came back from my vacation with my Mom, having yet again purged his text messages from my phone. Another Friday night and I come home to a voicemail from him on my home phone. It was March 7th. This date is significant because it’s the same night that he texted my friend for the first time to see if she was available (as I wrote about in this post). Of course I didn’t know that at the time, but he was obviously trolling.
I’d had the week of the four failed dates. Yes I was in the middle of my romance with the Giant, and he was coming to visit in a few days. But, like a moth to a flame…I texted P back.
Now, I should address a few comments people have had for me in these posts. Yes, I knew he was a prick. No, I didn’t like how he treated me. I was in a constant internal debate whether his crap was worth it. I had decided after the first couple rounds that he was basically just good for sex – whatever thoughts I’d had earlier about a potential dating match were long gone. So while his behaviour was irritating, I knew he was the unbalanced and crazy one. I got less willing to put up with his shit, and called him out on it.
I asked him why he reached out, and he said:
“I was just thinking about our marathon sex sessions, as well as your bare legs in high heels which I really liked last time btw… Made me message you”
I was neutral in my responses. There was no way I was going to give him the pleasure of saying I wanted to see him. Didn’t take long before he asked, and I didn’t respond, just to see what he would do. He got a bit sulky. The next morning I responded with:
“Good morning. The thing about you that gives me pause is that you seemingly don’t know how to treat me with courtesy and respect when we aren’t face to face. The last two texts you sent me – the ones when I was away – were that you didn’t like my attitude and you found me irritating. I was only reaching out to say hi and with the photo, was being flirty and playful. For me, honestly, words like that don’t make me want to have your cock in my mouth again…even though this is just a “have sex once in a while” thing. If you can cut out those kinda of shenanigans… then sure, I will wrap my long legs around you again.”
He was jonesing to see me real bad. Apologized with all the sincerity of… well… with none whatsoever. He asked me for pics. I flat-out refused, and told him that I liked fucking him but not enough to put up with his BS. He asked when I was free, and I told him I would need to get back to him because I had a lot going on that week (which was true, for the record). He said “I would love to have you confirm”. So we got around to setting a date for him to come over.
Now, one thing that had also bugged me about this guy (yes! there’s more!) is that he always showed up empty-handed. I’d hosted him every single time at my place, fed and wined and watered him, and nothing in return. So I thought I’d ask him about that. Here’s what ensued:
- Me: I find it irritating that you always show up empty handed…no wine, nothing. I know you are just coming over for a chat and a fuck but it would be nice.
- Him: Wow. Lol. No. I’m not going to be bringing you gifts. My gift for you is my company.
- Me: Funny you think of them as gifts.
- Him: Yeah you shouldn’t have said that, I’m not your boyfriend. I understand, a token of appreciation then. But no.
- Me: It’s not a boyfriend thing at all. And I certainly don’t think of you that way don’t get all worried.
- Him: Not sure if I told you this before or not but, you’re certainly a high maintenance type. I don’t like high maintenance women.
- Me: Ha.
- Him: I like having sex with you though
- Me: I would like to hear your definition of low and high maintenance. It’s apt to be a lively conversation
- Him: I’ll tell you exactly. I’ll tell you something about me, I’m quick to judge.. But I’m usually correct. I can figure out the bottom line about someone pretty quick
- Me: We are often right when we consider things from our own vantage point and frame of reference. I am loath to ask what you think the “bottom line” is about me…
- Him: I actually can’t believe you consider that a “pet peeve” jeeezz lol. That wasn’t a smart thing to say.
- Me: What you don’t like the expression? Be careful. You are now taking it out of context.
- Him: Never had a woman ask me for gifts. Even after seeing her for a while.
- Me: Oh fuck really? I hate to tell you but a gift is flowers, a book, jewellery and I sure as hell don’t want or expect anything like that from you. Bringing a bottle of wine when someone is always the one hosting you at their place is just good manners. I never show up anywhere empty-handed, whether a friend, family member, or a lover.
- Him:Ann I like you, I don’t like you that much though. I could tell you were high maintenance before we even met. By the way I’m really put off right now. I’m gonna go for now, I dunno about tomorrow anymore maybe I’ll text you later k bye.
- Me: P, you have no idea how to really treat a woman. Or we can make this personal – you have no idea how to treat me. You waffle on plans, can’t commit, like to play power games, think you can say whatever you want and expect no consequences, and have the balls to say you don’t like me enough to bring a bottle of wine regardless of how much food and drink you have had with me at my place? Sorry. Even good sex isn’t worth that. You will chalk this up as me being high maintenance because it fits with your opinion of women and what you want….I’ve certainly learned something from you even if you haven’t from me.
- Him: Yeah, I just don’t like you all that much, hence the way I “treat” you. Like now I’m just pissed off with you. Maybe we should just cut this off like it was before since you’re so irritating. The casual hangouts with you are accompanied by an avalanche of BS. I hate it.
- Me: I thought my text above was clear. I’m not seeing you again. Your last three texts went further to cement it. I’m not going to fuck someone who is nasty and explicitly says they don’t like me. You took it too far.
He had the audacity to follow that up with a comment that he really respected me. And later, texted me to ask me what I thought of what he said earlier in the day. He tried to downplay what he said – but the great thing about keeping texts is you can quote them back to someone.
For all of his earlier shenanigans, I was truly flabbergasted at this point. He told me “he was upset about the whole situation”. He then said I made him feel uncomfortable when we were together – but when I asked for examples, he cut off the conversation. The reality was, he really got under my skin when he started in with the criticism of me being high maintenance, etc. I knew he was wrong – his examples were not me at all – I am not the starbucks guzzling, bottled water drinking, expensive purse wearing, fancy bar enjoying, relying on men to buy me drinks and expensive dinners, kind of woman. So the fact that this asshole thought I was, drove me absolutely batshit. I should have walked away, not caring what he thought, knowing he was wrong, but I just couldn’t.
I did see him once more. Near the end of March. But it was night we talked about my friend and he ended up getting in touch with her and violating my privacy.
I’m afraid there is one more post to go before I can fully shut this door.