P's Shenanigans | Volume 6 (aka back from the dead the first time)

Click here for Volume 1, Volume 2, Volume 3, Volume 4, and Volume 5.  If you think the saga is long, imagine what it was like to live it.  Sorry.

So, our last interaction was mid-January. I saw NIM a couple of times in the next two weeks but other than that, was bereft of male physical companionship.  It was around this time that I met My Giant online.  I went on my sunny solo beach vacation to try to shake off the stress of my job.

I had a decent February, being fully engaged with My Giant, I met the crazy Russian, had a great first date with guy who worked downtown as a media lawyer… and then I get home one Friday night and I have a message on my home machine.  Nobody ever calls me on my home machine.  It’s a “text to voice” message. This robotic voice says “you have a message from XXX-XXX-XXX…Hey.”

What the fuck?

So I type the number into my iPhone and…guess who… it’s P.

I try to figure out why he’s texting my home number and then it dawns on me.  He’s looked me up online to get my number and then not realizing (or not caring) that it’s a landline he has sent me a text message.

I’m curious, of course, why he’s reached out…and frankly I’m bored and horny. I was starting to question the Giant, the lawyer was infrequent in his communications, the Russian scared me, and NIM was his usual absent self. So, P was a known entity, even if I didn’t like much of the personality I knew. I wondered whether he got his shit together and will stop playing games with me. While I’m pretty sure that’s wasn’t going to happen, I couldn’t help myself and I text him, asking why he got in touch.  Pretty much right away, I get “do you think about me often?”

And I realize, he’s insecure.  In that way only cocky guys can be.

He said he missed me and wanted to see me.  I said I wanted to see him too – which was true.  Don’t judge.  I also wanted to play with him a little bit.  See how he would be.  But before I could, he lobbed one of the funniest questions I’d gotten from him:

  • Him: I feel a lot of tension between us, do you feel it?
  • Me: No. Not at all. Why do you feel that?
  • Him: I don’t mean tension in a bad way. I just feel like there’s something we both need to get off our chest to ease this, at least momentarily
  • Me: Ah. Ease what? You mean sexual tension?
  • Him: Yes
  • Me: Gotcha
  • Him: Am I the only one? Who feels it between us?
  • Me: No. [I was lying, for the record]
  • Him: 🙂 Okay
  • Me: Is it that you crave me?
  • Him: Absolutely
  • Me: Just physically?
  • Him: No, I loved how you spoke to me, and the look in your eyes when you fix them onto my face. Also I admired your creativity in the pretty outfits you would wear for me. And of course your intelligence gets me as well.

He then proceeded to tell me he had also tweeted me as well… I never check Twitter but did and sure enough, there was a message saying “Ann please contact me I would like to speak to you about something”.  If I hadn’t known better I would have thought he was trying to tell me he had an STI.

We had some nice chit-chat and then proceeded over the next couple of days to continue an infrequent text conversation.  But the annoying shit started happening again before too long.

  • When I criticized the fact that he has never sent me a “fresh” pic, he said he was reminded that I was “nitpicky”
  • When I asked him about getting together on a specific date, he said (and it was a criticism) that I always liked him to settle on a date and time we would see each other
  • When I called out on the fact that he said he couldn’t come over one night because he was tired, then proceeded to text me for the next several hours, inquiring as to whether I was happy he got back in touch, he said I was “controlling”
  • In the middle of a chat one night he paused for a bit and then said “oh I just came back from checking POF but there wasn’t much going on there tonight”
  • He debated with me who let the other go the last time

Then I got the delusional text:

  • Him: I’ll be perfectly honest, I think you fell for me hard. I didn’t expect that to happen, especially after our first date. But then after a few more meetings, I felt like you seriously liked me a lot as a person.
  • Me: Interesting. And what impact did thinking that have on you?
  • Him: I just think you become too emotional about me sometimes. I feel like you really care about what I do and how I treat you.
  • Me: Of course I care about how I’m treated. I think you are used to a different kind of woman, if caring is a new thing.

We were supposed to meet the following night.  I get a text from him that he’s “not really feeling it”.  I tell him it’s irritating.  His need for control clearly comes into focus when his response is “The thing about you is you like to do things only on your terms. Well I’m gonna meet you on my terms”.  Ah-ha.  I ignored his texts for the remainder of the evening, then explained to the young asshole that I have a busy life, a kid, friends, a job, and I don’t have time to waste on someone who can’t be bothered.

But, when he texted me the next day asking if he could come by, I decided I could use some decent sex and said yes.  Of course it was great, despite my now-significant disdain for the dude.

The kicker for me, the end of this round, occurred later that week.  On a vacation with my Mom, I texted him one day by the pool, he asked for a pic of my surroundings so I sent a pic of my legs, which ended up not going through.  For whatever reason, out of the blue he says “I don’t like your attitude. You irritate me”.  This was the same day I found out my friend Katharine was dating a guy who dissed me on two dating sites, so I was not having a good day.  I told him to fuck off and thought I was done with him for good.

Alas… he still wanted more.

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19 thoughts on “P's Shenanigans | Volume 6 (aka back from the dead the first time)

  1. You seem super conflicted about this man. There is so much tension and drama and fighting for the upper hand in the relationship. Do you want this guy, and everything that goes with him, or not? I note your self-reflection on your blog, but are you accomplishing that in real life?

    • I was well aware of who and what he was. So all the decisions I made were in full understanding of the bs. It just stopped being worth it after a while. So yeah, I accomplished it.

  2. I know where you are coming from and you sure had fun sex wise.
    I did however had to smile about setting a date. I believe that much is needed if two people, having a busy live, would like to see each other LOL. He could say no or opt another date.
    Tired like the children having a headache and not able to go to school and play video games instead all day. Sorry but I am just laughing at his character. He would do great as a cartoon.
    And to think he was already confusing.

    Keep on smiling.

  3. If I didn’t know better I could be persuaded into believing this man is my ex husband. Except he is a little too kind and says too many nice things to you. Lets say his yo yo string is longer than my ex’s.

What do you think?