The next day, the first text when I see it – in the middle of a meeting – is “Are you interested in voyeurism”?
I think I snorted coffee through my nose.
- Him: Would you be interested or turned on by me fucking another woman and you watching, with the potential of joining in?
- Me: Not sure about watching being a turn on. Joining in? Maybe. Depends on how you and I are together….and I mean that in a broad sense.
- Him: Hmm okay
- Me: Haven’t been in that situation before to be honest so just not sure. I don’t mean “not sure” as no. Truly mean not sure. Could be super f-Ing hot.
- Him: So, you’d eat a womans pussy?
- Me: Didn’t say that. Are you at home now or thinking this stuff up at work?
- Him: No I’m at home, just feeling you out to see how comfortable you’d be if we once added a woman to our play.
- Me: How comfortable are you adding a man? Would you suck a mans cock?
- Him: No I wouldn’t
- Me: Kinda an awkward question both ways.
- Him: No, its different when its two women. Women are more comfortable touching one another than men are.
- Me: Do you actually believe that to be true?
- Him: Yeah, Generally speaking
- Me: Giving my friends a hug is a far cry from eating pussy.
- Him: Well, you did say you’d be okay with a woman going down on you, didn’t you?
- Me: I said that I could see a situation where I could be the recipient of a woman pleasuring me. Absolutely.
- Him: You’d like that?
- Me: I think your original ask was whether I would get pleasure from watching you with someone else. My joining in (I believe) to pleasure you. It’s not a scenario that’s about me. Which is just different. The scenario I could see is a female that is bi who is equally interested in us. It’s a shared experience. With multiple possible combinations. But again, nothing I’ve tried to hard to say.
- Him: Yeah, hmm okay
- Me: Would u want to watch me with another man? It would really be about you getting pleasure from seeing me pleased…since you wouldn’t want to join in. I think for it to be beneficial to both of us (and not divisive) it has to be a shared experience. And we have to trust one another and be confident in where we stand and how we feel about each other. No?
- Him: Yeah I agree, basically you’re saying you’d be open to a threesome with another woman as long as everyone gets equal attention
- Me: Sort of. But sure….harder to explain over text. Nuances and subtleties are lost
- Him: But I’m basically correct right, you just don’t want to be left out
- Me: That’s not really the motivation.
- Him: What?
- Me: I wouldn’t do it just for my own pleasure. It’s about finding new pleasures with a lover. So I don’t see it as a selfish thing. If it was just about me I could just go as what they call a “unicorn” at a swingers club and get fucked by a bunch of people. Or go on to a hook up site.
- Him: I get it, if we added another woman, we would need to nicely integrate her among us
- Me: Is it something u really want to have happen?
- Him: There’s a woman I dated in the past, around your age that I think would be interested if I asked. So that’s the reason for my questions.
So the conversations continue over the days and nights. He tries calling me Annie as a term of endearment. He calls me “hon”. I feel there is real affection on the other side of the iPhone. But I start to see a pattern with him…which is he gets nice, then needs to back off and find a way to add some dickhead behaviour, just to keep me on my toes. That night’s version was this:
- Me: What are you up to tonight?
- Him: Just figuring it out now actually
- Me: Lol as usual…what are your choices tonight?
- Him: Blonde vs Brunette. And not talking about beer.
- Me: Mmmmm
- Him: Mmm is right
- Me: Fuck you
- Him: Wow. I was kidding btw. And yes, I already know you want to fuck me. I love having you on top of me…
And back to the compliments and terms of affection. After that, we switched to a different chat application and sadly I don’t have the text messages from the next period of time. They were something else.
We did meet up as planned and had decent sex and some great conversations (which afterwards he said made him uncomfortable…probably because I was asking him personal questions).
The next day he continued to want to talk about going to a swingers club. He ended up telling me that he wanted me to join him not to actually have sex with me, but so that I could be a “wing woman” for him and we could do a “cold swap”. I was furious, and at some level, hurt. He just didn’t get it. I remember our conversation escalated and I started sticking up for myself, telling him I was tired of his bullshit and his games and I was not some plaything. The next thing I knew, he was telling me I was annoying and he was done with me. We did the text equivalent of slamming down the phones and I figured I was done with him for good. Goodbye great cock, I will miss you, goodbye asshole, good riddance.
At the time I wouldn’t have been surprised to know that night in mid-January would be the last time I saw him…but I didn’t expect him to keep coming back from the relationship dead.
I got the following text a couple of days later. (Now, you should know that ages ago I had told him I have jaw issues which mean it can hurt if I give head for long periods of time, especially with someone who is well-endowed and he said “I really enjoy how you please me orally so that doesn’t matter.”)
My response? Something along the lines of having my mouth on his cock plenty of times, thank you very much. And that when one is an asshole, it doesn’t exactly inspire a woman to feel like giving a blow job.
After that, I downloaded all his texts and the screenshots I took, and deleted everything off my phone, because I knew someday I would want to write about him. I expected to be finished. But there was more to come…