I’m really, truly, sorry. But hopefully it has made you laugh….more likely cringe, but I can’t really avoid telling certain stories if I’m going to maintain my honest blog status.
So like I said at the end of Volume 7, I did see him once more. There was a Friday night where I was supposed to see NIM, who bailed, per usual. I was bored. In a weak moment, I texted P. It had been a week and I had a pair of shoes on that reminded me of him. So yeah, I went there.
He asked me how my dating was going, and I told him. He calls me a MILF then went back to some boring chit chat, including him teasing me about being high maintenance…and I didn’t rise to the bait. Couple days later he tells me how horny he was when he woke up, and that he wanted me there with him. He says things like:
Well good thing I’ve got you on call. Oh wait, you ask for presents along with the sex. Nevermind.
There’s a few things about your personality I don’t like, but I like bending you over and banging the hell out of you for a few hours that’s for sure.
I told him the feeling was mutual.
Then again back to the chit chat…and then, as per the routine, he got all sexual again. This round was about whether I wanted to be fucked by multiple guys at the same time (yes), whether I’d done it before (yes), and if I’d do it with him (maybe).
Then he gets on to my rating of our sex life. I told him he should know it was pretty good because for someone who often treats me like shit, it would need to be good for me to consider continuing to fuck him. He told me he wanted to just spend an entire day with me to see how long I could go for. I said sure, and the next thing I knew his evening plans were cancelled and the two of us got together. It was a Monday at the end of March.
Between sex sessions (and no, he didn’t even stay all night), we talked about the things he thought I was. I tried to explain to him that he was wrong. There was no convincing him. So when he texted it was funny that I tried “defending” myself, I put him on ignore for two days. Then he followed it up that he didn’t think I liked “manly men”, that I “prefer a guy whose smaller and gayer”. Which is just fucking ridiculous..and I’m sure those of you who like figuring out psychology will have a field day with that comment.
He also helpfully provided his definition of high maintenance:
Higher than normal expectations, has a greater requirement for affection and attention, has more needs/demands and therefore more difficult to deal with. Doesn’t equate to money or material possessions alone but may be needy in emotional attention and affection. Picky, bratty, likes things her way. Finicky. Selfish and in it for themselves. Exceptionally needy towards men. The type you’ll see with ugly older men that have lots of money. She won’t drink tap water, ever. Even if it’s filtered.
Which made me fucking howl. We were in touch for a few more days but he continued to push me on things he thought I was, and it just got more and more ridiculous. I stopped texting back.
But then, I found out about what he did to my friend: to read about that, go to this post.
I was debating whether to say anything to him. I decided to fuck with him a little bit, so we had the following text exchange:
- Me: Hey
- Him: Hey
- Me: Do you consider yourself trustworthy?
- Him: Yes, absolutely trustworthy here, why?
And I never responded back.
So…fast forward a couple of weeks. He reached out to me on the online dating site where we met (I wrote about it on this post). Now, I could drag this shit out, but I’m getting tired of writing about this guy. I called him out for getting in touch with my girlfriend. I didn’t hold back on telling him he was selfish, immature, and caused me no end of grief. Here are the highlights of his rationale and responses:
- Him: I was just expanding my social boundaries.
- Him: Lol, seriously? What’s wrong with you today?
- Him: So what’s the impact of me messaging a woman on POF and referring to “Ann”?
- Him: Okay, you’re making a big deal out of nothing, like seriously? This says a lot about you. Like I didn’t know enough about your personality already.
- Him: You’re complicated, I don’t like it. I don’t need headaches when talking to a woman.
- Him: Why would there be repercussions?
- Him: I was trying to chat her up. Obviously.
- Him: If she was smart she wouldn’t have told you about my messages, and just ignored me. Did she immediately let you know when I contacted her?
- Him: Maybe we should just stop chatting. Too much of a personality clash here.
With that text from him, I just stopped. That was April 13th and I thought – FINALLY. I had told him repeatedly how much of an ass he was, and watch that list of pathetic reasons and answers come through my phone.
But wait!! There’s more!! Really!!
May 1st. The first night I was with Johnny on our trip, I get:
- How do you feel towards me today?
- In comparison to a few weeks ago?
I waited until several days after I got back from my trip to respond. I was curious what the hell angle he would have this time. He got right back into wanting to see me, and I was very cold in response. It didn’t deter him. I momentarily considered using him for sex because at that point, I was (as you’ve read) quite smitten with Johnny, and sex with this guy would be absolutely no threat to our relationship whatsoever.
I’m sure many of you are saying – what the fuck, how could she even consider it – but rest assured that his next train of thought ensured it was never going to happen again. Here is the conversation, in all its astounding glory:
- Him: To be frank, its more you than me. I think you know that.
- Me: What do you mean by that?
- Him: In our struggles to get along, you’re the problem.
- Me: Why do you think that?
- Him: You’re selfish. Bratty, high maintenance. Not accepting of personalities or lifestyles different from yours.
- Me: Wow you don’t know me at all. But even worse is that you think you do. Your arrogance is astounding. Forget it, P.
- Him: I’m just telling you how I feel towards you. I think you’re a nice person.
I have to pause for a moment here. At that moment, he reminded me of my ex husband, who, after yelling at me about being a selfish bitch etc etc., said, “I’m just telling you how I feel. You say I never tell you how I feel.”
So I reiterated that he had no fucking clue, and then it went like this:
- Him: How many times have you said that? So many.
- Me: Well don’t worry. That’s the last time.
- Him: Huh? Should I be reading between the lines? Okay forget about that, I’ve got a more important question for you.
- Me: Sure what?
- Him: What is it that you like most about me? Which of my qualities?
I swear this is an exact copy-and-paste. Please know, at this point he had become only a social experiment to me. I had zero plans to see him again but was so curious how he was going to respond to my just telling him exactly what I felt about him.
Later, the poor dear actually said “I’m assuming that you’re thinking I’m a solid overall package, but trying to pinpoint what really keeps you attracted to me.”
Now I know he totally deserved it, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was just a cock to me…and had been for a long time. As for me, he said “You’re classy, a nice conversationalist, you’re the type that I actually wouldn’t mind being seen in public with. You’re up for dating and going out if we want to.”
He said “you’re the one that knows how to please me best”.
But, as it always does, it went to shit. The last words we said to each other, after he said he would see me again if I could convince him to do so:
- Me: Well you are being a dick. I would NEVER ask you to prove to me that you want to see me. I mean really. Is it to boost your ego? Because it comes across as “I don’t really like you all that much so I want you to convince me that you are worth my time”. You pull that shit on a regular basis.
- Him: Blow me.
DONE. Sayonara. Good Bye. Au Revoir.
I can’t tell you how good that feels. It felt good at the time to be done, but it feels better to purge his bullshit into the blogosphere. I guess I should say sorry for sharing it with all of you.
I’d like to say I know for sure he won’t ever get in touch again. I wouldn’t put it past him. Anyone want to take any bets?