my swingers club experience

My Swingers Club Experience

I was chatting with Johnny recently about his upcoming trip to my city, and what things we were going to do whilst he is here. We joked about swingers clubs and I realized I’ve never written about my swingers club experience.

Although Ariel was ultimately not the right guy for me, he was an amazing sexual match. He wasn’t particularly handsome, but there was something about him that was attractive – probably because I knew what he was able to do to me. He had incredible stamina and could keep going for hours and hours. He remains one of the best kissers I’ve ever been with. He had a varied sexual background and was pretty much game to do anything that I wanted to do. While he had his own needs, he wasn’t selfish at all.

So when I expressed curiosity and interest in some of his prior experiences with couples, including going to a swingers club to meet some of them, he offered to take me any time I wanted.

In stark contrast to Shenanigans, who I had also had a swingers club conversation with (I will follow-up this post with that discussion), Ariel said the following:

  • Anytime I wanted to go, he would take me;
  • If I felt uncomfortable at any time, we would immediately leave, no matter what and no questions asked;
  • He would ensure I felt safe; and
  • This was predominantly an experience for me, so whatever I wanted to do, and with whomever, he would support me in it.

He had done some research on suggested places and we set a date to go. It was the Friday of a holiday weekend so the club was actually less busy than it would normally be – this was fine with me.

We did some pre-drinking at my place. I couldn’t seem to get anywhere near as tipsy as I would have liked. It’s not that I need to drink to have a good time, but I wanted that fuzzy warm feeling to offset the nervousness I felt. I wore a bustier with an awesome strapless bra, a short black shirt, garters and stockings, and these crazy sexy boots with a pointed toe and a silver plate on the heel.

We took a taxi, not planning to be anywhere near sober enough to drive at the end of the night. As we walked into a club I saw a couple standing outside having a cigarette and the man was extraordinarily handsome. I never saw them again, but in hindsight wish I would have paid attention to where they went when they re-entered the club.

I was greeted by a warm, friendly, and very tattooed coat check girl who explained all of the rules to us (basically, they are very female friendly…no means no, if anyone bothers me at all, talk to the security guards, etc). We paid our relatively nominal “membership fee” and in we went.

It was like a cheesy nightclub, and I would never have known what went on in the back rooms had there not been the occasional person there wearing outfits (I can’t say clothes) that you definitely wouldn’t see in any “regular” club. There was popular music being played by the DJ and a smattering of people dancing. Few people at the bar, which is where we quickly stationed ourselves. I tried to get drunk. It just wasn’t happening.

It became quickly obvious to me that many people there knew one another. There were lots of jokes and dialogue and friendly (and sexy) dancing on the dance floor. Ariel wasn’t a dancer so he really didn’t want to get on the dance floor. I wasn’t buzzed enough to be willing to dance on my own – although it definitely wouldn’t have stopped me at other times.Β  I had expected to get hit on a little bit, or talked to, and it didn’t happen.Β  People were into their own thing with the friends they knew.

So, we drank and watched the people on the dance floor, then he offered that we should venture into the back rooms. Basically, there were two of them… feeling a little bit like Alice in Wonderland, the left room was for couples only, and the right room allowed single men (most clubs allow single men on some nights, but they have to pay a lot more). Before we went into either room we had to get completely undressed in the locker room. Despite not really being “allowed”, I kept on my garters and boots. I just couldn’t go completely naked. Perhaps if I was already turned on, it wouldn’t have been a problem…but I was sober with dry panties.

In case you are wondering, needed to be naked this prevents people just skulking about. If you want to watch, you will be watched. Keeps everything fair, I suppose.

So we went into the couples only room first. There were several chairs, large beds, platforms, all kinds of different places to have sex. There were open places, and those that had curtains…if they were closed, you weren’t to be bothered. Open, and it said you welcomed an invitation.

It was the first time ever that I ever saw other people having sex. Porn displays everywhere. Sadly, it wasn’t that erotic to me. One couple on the left just freaked me out – the woman was on all fours, face pressed into the bed, and not moving at all. Her partner was on his knees, entering her from behind – no idea which orifice – and just slowly moved back and forth into her, all the while looking around at others in the room. I found him extraordinarily weird.

The group on the right was all arms and legs and tits and ass and quiet moans and slow movement. They were all exceedingly average looking.

In the centre of the room were two couples – the hottest of the lot – but the women were all fake tits, acrylic square nails with french manicures, everything shaved, and bottle blonde hair. Their partners had great bodies but for some reason, were not appealing to me at all. They spent the whole time we were there fucking and giving blow jobs and trading partners and talking the whole time in what sounded like Russian.

There were others, but those were the ones that stood out.

So…what to do?

I felt awkward just standing around, with a towel, in my garters.Β  It struck me as awfully silly.Β  Ariel recognized my discomfort and decided to warm me up by kissing me. It worked. We quickly progressed to more intimate things. We picked a big platform in the middle of the room and, well, I ended up having sex in front of a bunch of strangers. I was able to let go enough to have a number of fantastic orgasms. I surprised myself. We took a break then kept at it in other spots in the room. We also tried the room with the single guys, but it was pretty late in the night (all the couples with babysitters had to get home, I guess), and the few dudes hanging out there were more creepy than sexy. Granted, had the guy from the front entrance been there with his wife, and willing to play with us, I would have.

After that we went back to the locker room, got dressed, and headed out. We’d had less sex than we would have, had we been at my place, but it was indeed a new experience.

I’m glad I went. Would I go again? Absolutely, with the right partner. There were things I would have liked to try – the Sybian machine, the swing, actually having multiple partners – but although the sex with Ariel was great that night, the atmosphere wasn’t nearly busy, loud, close, or sweaty enough to facilitate the horniness I would have needed to feel to totally let loose.

Perhaps I will add it to Johnny’s trip agenda.


Postscript: We didn’t go to a swingers club whilst he was visiting. We did, however, have a threesome. And I got my next swingers club visit a long time afterwards. You can read about it here.

36 thoughts on “My Swingers Club Experience

    • It’s definitely not for everyone, I will give you that. And obviously from my other posts, I’m not sure I could actually get into a regular “swinging” relationship with other people… I might worry too much about connections being developed, and not sure I could handle that.

  1. I suggest going on a different night, perhaps a Saturday night to see of the crowd is different. My last partner and I went twice to a club, once on a weekend and once mid-week (it was like a ladies night), the Saturday night was MUCH better than the Wednesday. The people there were classier and took much better care of their bodies. We set ground rules before we went, we would consider soft swap only. Both nights ended up being fun bit over all would have returned another Saturday had our relationship not ended.

  2. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
    I am surprised to hear though it was so close, as to very little interaction with a new face. Starting a talk gets a first initial blast of relaxation and bigger welcome. And when your relaxed ooh well no need to tell you.

    A new adventure awaits you. have fun πŸ˜€ Keep on smiling.

      • They really are all very different from one another. I’ve only been in three swing environments, and with my husband each time, so I’m no expert but… It’s like dining out at different restaurants. There is the standard fare, and a few choice dishes, but really it’s the atmosphere and the company that make the difference.

  3. thanks so much for that brilliant honest insight into the swinger club experience …I remember having that moment of “striking you as awfully silly” at a club too, where you suddenly wonder why we all go to such strange lengths to experience newness and intimacy…not knocking it,but we humans are a strange bunch, when you think about how complicated we make things for ourselves sometimes.

  4. The one thing we have found with clubs if you go with another couple that you know it is a very different experience. We are not into just hook up so it is the atmosphere and where the ladies can dress up. Safe. No pressure setting.

    Hope to hear a follow up to this story πŸ™‚

  5. Glad you had a good time at your first swing party. It’s always interesting to see new couples and how they react. Some just dive right in and you’d think they were partying all the time whereas others take time to stick their toe in the water.

    I agree with other comments that parties are all different and typically cater to different types of people. When we go to a new club or house party, the first thing on our minds is not to get laid but to meet new people and see how comfortable we are in the situation. Some times you leave and plan on spraying yourself with Lysol as soon as possible, other times the people are great and everything clicks.

    For newbie couples, it tends to be scary as you don’t know what to expect and always assume the worst but that is never the case. We go to parties where you drop you clothes in a pile at the door but still retain the power of “No” even while being naked. While we are not really into the get naked and lay in a pile parties, we go to meet up with friends and hopefully meet new ones.

    I’ve had to rebuild my blog on blogspot as wordpress decided I was too big of a pervert and have started reposting articles on helping new couples into the Lifestyle. We’ve been in the scene for over 10 years and have had a lot of good experiences but everyone has to decide what’s right for them.

  6. This is definitely something that appeals to me. I started to research it while I was still married, hoping to go with my ex. I think he was a bit freaked out by it πŸ˜‰
    Probably his own self image issues, or maybe worried I would discover how bad a lover he really was?
    It’s still on my bucket list. Maybe I’ll actually write one one day πŸ˜‰

  7. That sounds like what I should have tried. My boyfriend got me to do the swinger thing but it was decided by a draw who everyone slept with. We go to this huge mansion and I ended up knowing a person there, which I didn’t want to happen (was a friend with my dad). Then, he was the man I ended up with. I believe he set it up so I wasn’t happy. Won’t ever try it again.

    • Oh, that’s rather… awkward. Sorry to hear.

      You could try again in a totally different type of situation. Are you anywhere where there are swingers clubs? Are you with the same boyfriend?

    • Sorry you had a bad experience that is not how it works or is supposed to work. One of the things we always stress is everyone has the right to say No. I’ve never been to a house party where you were paired up. Sounds like the old house keys in a bowl trick.

      • Nice to see you around, Larry. And yes, I couldn’t agree more with you – any club I know of or have been to has a very strict policy about saying “no”, to ensure stuff like this doesn’t happen.

        I’ve had a few invitations lately to join some group activity and have had to say no given my current relationship. But perhaps someday I can introduce Tony to my kinks.

  8. Slowly reading through your blog…Ariel sounded like a good match for you in many ways (but obviously the universe and you decided it wasn’t meant to be). About how long did you see him for? Do you stil talk to him?

    • I hope you are enjoying what you read!!

      Ariel was a decent and kind man. Although the sex started to get a bit routine, he was always up for anything, which was great.

      At the time, I didn’t appreciate all of what Ariel provided me – it was before I had really experienced all the other douchebaggery of dating. What made me uncomfortable with him was he seemed to want more than what I wanted. He wasn’t a good match for me in many ways, and ultimately I didn’t want to lead him on. He knew where I stood but it still didn’t feel right.

      I guess we saw each other for about 3 months or so. And no, after I broke up with him we only texted once or twice since.

  9. Certain particulars of the post, Ms. St. Vincent, bring to mind the old chestnut about nobody to be seen at the nude beach is anyone who we would want to see at the nude beach. πŸ˜‰

What do you think?