Meeting my lover's wife (FL 9)

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0 thoughts on “Meeting my lover's wife (FL 9)

    • It’s the only time I ever engaged with someone who was married. I didn’t know he was married the first time we were together. To be perfectly honest, it was all about me at first…how he made me feel. I was too wrapped up in my own stuff to really care, in the early days and weeks. If I was miserable in my marriage, he was 10 times more so. But it wasn’t so black-and-white…as things progressed with us, and I knew he sincerely wanted to have a good relationship with his wife, I counselled him to try to fix it. I gave him advice that ran contrary to my own happiness.

      It didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would, but that was because of what I needed, and also how she was. She moved out, saying she needed space, leaving him with their two daughters. She was mean to him and I watched it in action. She was involved with another man. But I wasn’t so foolish to think it was one-sided. The reality was, we each gave the other something we desperately needed. But we also supported each other in trying to repair our own marriages. I know that probably sounds fucked up.

      I have no interest in married men, and once someone tells me (or if I suspect) they are in a relationship, I make it very clear that I am not interested. It’s happened many times. It’s not because I judge them – obviously, that would make me a hypocrite, but a) it feels uncomfortable, b) I don’t want to ever be a second priority to another woman, and c) god forbid I should fall in love with someone who is unavailable.

      • “I was too wrapped up in my own stuff to really care”

        I’ve been there, and it sucks.

        “But we also supported each other in trying to repair our own marriages. I know that probably sounds fucked up.”

        No, not really. Ending a marriage is fucking tough, even if it’s the right thing to do.

      • I love this entry. And I love your reply to TwinDaddy, I recognize so much – when I was in my affair with James his wife didn’t enter the equation – it was purely about me and him. Selfish I know.

        I can vividly remember the last time I saw him too – we stood on a quiet street and hugged each other – we’d decided to end it. He went to kiss me and I turned away.. God how I wish I hadn’t.

        Loving your blog X x

  1. Pingback: I’m going to finish my Faraway Lover story | ann st vincent

  2. I impressed myself with the last man I was serious with. I told him that I loved him and I wanted him to be happy more than anything else. (he moved across country, rather abruptly) He did meet someone who made sure we do not talk anymore. I think the saddest part is that I truly believed he loved me. Clearly it wasn’t what I thought it was. I also thought we were friends and would remain so. I hate feeling stupid.

      • I believed we were friends before and had no reason to think it would be different after. He used to laugh when I would express any kind of doubt about our relationship. This is part of what confuses me. I would expect him to do the same with the new one. That, and I am hardly “around”, about 2,000 miles separates us. I harbor no delusions that we will be reunited, but psycho–I mean– the new one is apparently less secure than I was and it bothers her that we would want to speak to each other. He is ok with that. All this = I am stupid.

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