Guys and their cocks

I feel bad for dudes.  If I want my boobs to be bigger or smaller, and I have the financial means, I can make that happen.  Smaller ass?  Yup, no problem.  Apparently I can even tidy up my labia if I’m so inclined.

But guys?  If you want to be bigger you have to rely on strange-looking pumps and pills that come from the back pages of magazines, and surely do nothing at all.

So for me, a discussion about cock size is really, always, off-limits.  If a man asks whether he’s big enough, the answer is NEVER “well yeah, you are rather small and I didn’t feel anything”.  I don’t lie, I wouldn’t say “oh no you are super big, stud” because guys aren’t stupid, but I would certainly express my pleasure at having the company of the man and all his parts.

Yes, of course, size matters.  Girth probably more than length.  But I’ve had very bad lovers with big cocks (although if they let me have my way I can usually manage just fine), and fantastic lovers with quite average cocks.  So it’s not just the equipment, you must have some skill to use it.

My Mother (a wise sage, that one) reminded me when I first became single that “the male ego is so fragile, darling”.

I seem to always forget this truism.

I’ve been relatively lucky to only have had 2 men with hydraulics issues since I’ve become single.  It happens, and I don’t stress out about it.  Luckily, I had one guy who was really way too small, and way too untalented, to give me any real pleasure.  Otherwise, it’s been a pretty good ride, pardon the pun.

But where I forget sometimes, is that men can be rather nervous about their assets, prior to doing the deed.  The guy who I went on a date with right before I met Johnny was completely paralyzed with fear that he may not be able to get it up.  We never got close to having sex at all – just a kiss goodnight on our date – but it was a later text discussion about why he didn’t try to have sex with me that night.  He told me he was rather small and he had anxiety issues and possibly genital warts and had trouble getting it up.  This dude had some major issues.  I hope is goes un-said that we didn’t go out again.

Anyway, it happened another time as well – with a guy I met on OkCupid and went on a couple dates with before I met Johnny.  I answered a lot of OkCupid’s questions and several of the really sexy ones, I didn’t make private.  So I guess he read them all and was a little concerned about my insatiability because he mentioned it at dinner.  There’s a question asking whether, if you had sex with your partner a few times that day and they want to stop and go play video games, would you be upset.  My answer was, of course, yes.  Because while we don’t have to have sex, if I’m in one of those moods I would quite like to continue to hang out and touch and talk and all those nice things.

So, he was freaked out by it.  Our first date, we kissed goodnight.  It was pretty good.  Might be worth mentioning that this guy is huge.  He’s built like a linebacker and probably about 40+ lbs overweight.  It bothers me only in that I try my hardest to stay healthy and I’d love to be with someone active to helps keep me active too… since I’m inclined to just drink wine and eat cheese and deep-fried food and read books.  Our second date, it went farther but he explicitly said we weren’t going to have sex – seems he’s a three-date-rule kind of guy – and while I ended up naked and orgasming in bed thanks to his ministrations, he kept his pants on.  Refused any attempt of mine to equalize the situation.

At the time, I chalked it up to just him not wanting to move too fast.

I was wrong.

Since then, we hadn’t talked much.  After our second date and a couple of days of not hearing anything from him, I sent him a note that said it was nice to meet him but based on his lack of communication I could tell he just wasn’t that into me.  But then every once in a while I’d get a flirty message.

He reached out to me today again with something very flirty.  I called him out on it and asked why he continued to flirt with me if he wasn’t interested in dating me anymore.  I didn’t expect the response I got.

Long story short? The reason wasn’t that he didn’t dig me, it’s that his (and I quote) cock is only 5.5 inches and he’d met highly sexed women like me before and they are unsatisfied with his size.  I explained to him my philosophy as I discussed it above.  I figured that would be the end of it and I could go back to whatever it was I was going.  But no.  Instead, he asked me on a date.   I’ve been dateless both Friday and Saturday for the last two weeks.  Granted I got a lot of stuff done around my house, but still.  It’s not like I have a lot of prospects.  NIM is useless because he’s sick again and can’t get his head out of his ass, Jason is just busy as always, and the Russian just frightens me.

So, I said yes.  I also cleared it with Johnny, for those of you worried I am going rogue. Perhaps I will find out whether he had anything to be worried about.

0 thoughts on “Guys and their cocks

  1. I feel sorry for women, statistically, they die younger than men, they have bleeds during womanhood, at least once a month. Biologically, more likely to be overweight. They are for most part seen as sexual objects and you statistically get paid less than men. Just stating facts, please don’t shoot the messenger. I just hope your not on your period while reading this, as you probably would pull the trigger, you know, with your hormones an all that.

    • Well, other than your being incorrect about female longevity, at least in North American and Europe (ever been to a old age home? Guys have it made!), I agree with you. Being on your period sucks. The impact of the hormonal changes also totally suck. Childbirth isn’t so fun. The fact that I get paid less than my male equivalents? Yeah, that blows. Don’t get me started on being a slut versus a player. You didn’t even mention the standards of beauty for women and the amount of maintenance we are expected to do. So why would I shoot the messenger?

      But…if I wanted bigger or smaller boobs I could get them. The same is not true for guys. Note one of the comments below on this post and you’ll see the kind of impact that has.

      • Ok, I didn’t really research my comments, so what. I was just trying to even out your argument. I didn’t mention the standards of beauty, because, it’s getting the same for men and it makes me physically sick. You might get paid more, but in general women do get paid less than men. Why are you so obsessed, with the male genetalia? Not getting enough? Or any? Just because you have been wronged by a few men doesn’t mean we’re all the same. I hate this feminism bullshit, it’s ok, when its all going your way, but when we ask you to take the bin out, it’s a man’s job. Never mind, you can use all your extra income to buy more dildos, butt-plugs, or whatever you feminists do

        • Um, you obviously haven’t read my blog. Which is fine, but don’t assume you know where I’m coming from unless you ask or read first.

          I don’t whine about the female condition (with one exception, which was about my own personal journey with birth control). Generally I think women treat men badly, expect too much, don’t communicate well, and don’t undersand the increasing standard and concerns men have about their own appearance. I have a draft post about the viciousness of criticism I see women leveling against men. I’ve written about the false complaint that there are no “good men out there”.

          I’m hardly obsessed with male genetalia. I get a lot of it in all the right places, thank you very much. This post was about the fact that women are lucky when it comes to the size of their sexual parts. Guys can’t do anything about it. We forget that the insecurity about it can be crippling.

          and BTW I actually said I get paid less, not more. But I still have plenty of money for my toys…which I share with my partners.

  2. For a moment there… I thought we dated the sane guy!!! I had one who didn’t want to have sex with me till I fell in love with him… It took me three dates when I realized why!!!! He didn’t have more then a inch and he was hoping I would be satisfied with his hands… He wouldn’t even give me oral…. So as soon as I saw it… I got up got dressed and wished him luck!!

    • Hi! Thanks for the comment.

      I feel terrible for that man. Not giving you oral is bad, don’t get me wrong, but imagine knowing that you are highly likely to never be able to please a woman with a body part that is meant to do so.

  3. I have to admit, I’ve never quite understood the obsession some guys have with the size of their cocks. My own is perfectly average, if a little thicker than most. It has never failed to please me, nor have I failed in pleasing my lovers. Enthusiasm, paying attention to one’s partner, and a willingness to learn have always been bigger priorities to me than having a monster dong. 😉

  4. These stories make me so sad. Sexuality is such a personal, heterogenous, diverse part of life. There are obviously people who won’t be compatible with other people, but preemptively denying yourself (and a potential lover) the opportunity to discover each other and grow (pun mildly intended) is what it’s all about. One of the questions on OK Cupid is if you consider an orgasm to be the point of sex. I think that’s a major point of difference between people. For some it’s all about process; for others, the destination; for some, it’s both; for others it’s something else entirely.

What do you think?