An unbalanced conversation

So Johnny and I are working through the trials and tribulations of being two horny people who really dig each other but won’t see each other for 8 weeks.  There’s only so much you can do on the phone and via text.

Several days ago I wrote about how anxious and jealous I feel at the thought of him dating anyone else, even though he has told me, basically, that I have captured his mind and his heart.  What set me off was him asking how I would feel if he went on a date with a woman who contacted him via online dating.

I, on the other hand, desiring no constraints whatsoever, continue to be open to sex with the few guys who have been skulking around in my life.  Jason, who I haven’t written about in a while, has kept in touch via text off and on since December, when he discovered he had a kid.  He was already busy with work and taking care of his elderly father who lives with him, so adding new Daddy responsibilities pretty much guaranteed that we would never see each other.

But he was a nice, respectful guy who kept in touch.  Every couple of weeks we have a short exchange.  He asks about my job and my son and sometimes we try to find a time to meet.  But it never has worked out.   Well… earlier this week, he texted me saying that he really did want to take me out for dinner to congratulate me on my big promotion late last year.  He also then said he was working on a “surprise” for me.

That surprise?

He is procuring a dude with a big cock, or a couple, to join us for sex one night.

Now, you might think this is out of the blue, but he knows that it’s a fantasy of mine (I’ve had MFM threesomes before, but not since College) and it was something he was working on for me before.  He’s open to trying stuff with a man as well.  So it would be a very hot experience and one that, despite all of the sex, has so far eluded me.  Ironically, as I’ve thought about maybe trying to have an MFM threesome with Johnny when he’s here (surprise, Johnny!), it would be Jason I would ask to join us.

I’ve been thinking about Jason’s proposition.  Of course I want to do that!  But how would Johnny feel about me having a threesome without him?  So I asked him, in a text conversation.  Gave him some background and asked him how he would feel about me doing that.  Also told him I’d like to do it with him as well, if he was open to it.

In his fantastically awesome way, he said – basically – if I wanted to, I should.

Now at least I know, I can make the choice without guilt.


Johnny tells me that he’s decided he will go out with that woman on a date.  He’s traveling right now for work, so will do it when he’s back later this week.

Instantly I get that anxious feeling again.  Then laugh at myself when I realize basically he has just said I can have sex with not one, but two, other men, and I’m getting all freaked out that he’s going on a date.  He has told me time and time again that I have nothing to worry about, I mean everything to him, this is a distraction and it means nothing to him (as a sidebar, I’d be peeved if I found out a guy who took me out thought of me this way…but I guess that’s a post for another day).

So basically – our conversation was:

  • Hey Johnny, can I have a threesome?
  • Sure Ann. Whatever makes you happy.
  • Hey Ann, I’m going to go on a date, are you okay with that?
  • Um…not sure…that makes me really anxious…but I guess I will try not to fret about it.

I figure one of my saving graces is that I’m relatively self-aware and know when I’m being rather ridiculous.  Because, really.  Get a grip.


P.S. I’m still anxious and not AT ALL happy he’s going on a date.  I’d better be busy the night he does or I will make quite a nuisance of myself on the internet, most likely.

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0 thoughts on “An unbalanced conversation

  1. I think one of the most amazing things about you is your ability to recognize and be aware of the unbalance in your feelings. It may not make them go away, but it should help abate them in time. Johnny sounds like a hell of a guy, and you should trust his words. 🙂

  2. Sorry, but Ann you are just going to have to kick Reason and Logic in the ass and tell them to get a move on it. It’s about time they catch up with and overtake Heart and Emotion.

    • Yeah, usually I’m ruled by Reason and Logic. I can rationalise everything. But it seems that Heart and Emotion have launched a coup. Their armed forces are very powerful.

    • Thanks, Hook…it’s hard when there are those moments in the day when a text or voice on the other end of the line just aren’t enough. Never mind missing someone’s touch, or kiss. Sigh. I’m working on it.

What do you think?