I don’t recall a second date. As in, actually being out anywhere. It’s quite possible we just went straight for the “meet for a drink at my place” for our second round. We might have gone back to the same pub. Either way, it’s irrelevant.
Communication between the two of us has always been rather challenging. For example, we never talked on the phone, or even emailed one another – it was always via text. In person, we definitely had decent conversations, but P doesn’t like talking about certain things – if things get too personal or probing for him, he sidesteps the conversation and says he’s not interested in talking about it.
He’s probably the only guy I’ve dated who I’ve not sexted. He’s rather formal – doesn’t like the short form of texting or incorrect grammar. This is fine with me as well because generally I’m not into that either, but it’s different than other 30 year-olds. He will ask about sexual things, but I don’t think it’s because he’s getting off on the other end of the smartphone. While on the one hand he is formal, on the other, he plays communication games, especially via text.
For example, in one of our relatively early text exchanges, he asked for a topless pic, and I sent him one. His response? “Nice heels”. The red flag – which I didn’t see at the time – followed:
- Me: Not my breasts? Funny guy.
- Him: I like them too.
- Me: For the record, that should be the first thing you comment on.
- Him: Very nice.
- Me: It’s too late to recover.
- Him: Lol okay whatever. Do you like my body?
It’s a small example, but with the wisdom of hindsight, the pattern of not meeting my needs and being simultaneously arrogant and insecure was there from the beginning. I just didn’t see it clearly. Frankly, I was a bit sidetracked by his physical aspects.
So after the first date, and the great sex, I definitely wanted to see him again. He was attractive and a decent date. He was good in bed. He said he was interested in more than just sex. All in all, it was looking like a promising opportunity for some fun dates and getting laid on a regular basis. On the other hand, he seemed closed off and non-communicative, a game player, was probably too young, and self-centred. But I was willing to give it a go.
I can shorten the remaining posts about him by talking here about the sex. Anyway, it’s the idiocy of our communications and some of his opinions that is why I want to write about him. The sex was great, but not awe inspiring. He had a great cock; was so thick I would queef like crazy when he took me from behind, but he NEVER went down on me. He had good stamina, but didn’t show me affection outside of the sexual act. He could pound away like only a young tall dude can, yet he would frequently ask for reassurance of how much I liked being pounded by him. The sex was rather vanilla. It was unchanging. We never even ventured into my toy drawer (which is pretty fun, if I do say so myself).
In our early communications, we established that he:
- Didn’t want children of his own but he was fine with dating someone who has one
- Generally liked dating older women
- Was looking for someone he could date on a regular basis, and was open to a relationship if he found the right person
- Wasn’t going to pursue things with the other women he’d met online, because he wanted to see where things were going with the two of us
These are important because shortly after our third night together, all of those opinions and beliefs went out the window. I found myself completely confused and blindsided… I thought I was crazy until I went back and read all of our text history – which proved to me that the 180 degree change was all him, not me.
The crazy thing is that it all started to go wrong after I told him that I liked him more than I expected.
Now, I meant – “I thought it would be totally empty sex but you actually are a decent way to spend several hours”.
He obviously thought something way more serious. And that’s when our problems started.