More failed online dating openers

Here are a few more of the screen shots I’ve kept of bad openers or online dating conversations. My profile is down on all but one site.  I kept this one up because it’s where I met the Giant and I wanted to capture some of our conversations.  I never bothered to take it down afterwards.

The huge irony for me is this – when I go into that site to grab some of these screen shots, because I then show up as online, I end up getting even more material to work with.  A few of them I have responded to just to see how crazy the response will be….there are some doozies.

My commentary is below each pic.

This was sweet but life isn’t fair.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him.

I’m not sure the best start is critiquing my writing.  My profile is pretty damn well written if I do say so myself.  And why put “man” in single quotes?  I debated responding back but quickly realised it was SO not worth my time.

I just had to respond to this one – it was so far out there for an opening line.  It went no further. 

I thought I was doing a nice think by thanking a guy for saying I was “adorable”.  I was feeling generous.  But – wham! – right into the weirdness he went. I ignored this and then he sent me a new set of messages saying I had nice legs and could we go away for a weekend together. WTF?


More to come!

0 thoughts on “More failed online dating openers

  1. Hahaha! I wish I had thought of doing this when I was dating online. Though I am still single, so you never know what the future holds (hopefully not online dating again).

  2. Oh I used to get some doozies too.

    Although I’ve taken down all my profiles so I’ll live vicariously through your horror ones instead 😀

  3. I feel like you don’t attract enough creeps because I find these to be rather boring and all relatively nice. Being a dude is so fucking hard on those sites (I’ve been told and can understand), cut them some slack ay? Or don’t, but then at least get weird with it. What’s the point if you can’t entertain yourself with this shit?

    • I laughed at “enough” creeps. I’ve had plenty but have been lucky to have had only a few truly creepy experiences.

      I give guys TONS of credit. I respond to any opening line pretty much when I like a guys profile – even just the “hey” that most women complain about. If someone has taken the time to write me something thoughtful or particularly sweet, I also respond back. I believe in good manners in any forum.

      I find dating in general entertaining!!

      • I mean yeah there’s a general rule right step 1: look at photos. Step 2: do I want to fuck this person? Yes? Move forward. No? Probably stop there. I used to respond to everyone too but after awhile I guess I had to stop cause it gave the average folks hope. But the creeps, they’re worth responding to.

        • I couldn’t agree more. It’s funny because I used to be very nice – as I said – and respond to everyone but then more often than not, it would start a conversation and I’d end up being the jackass who just went silent. Which I can’t stand. So now it’s only the ones who start with “can I have a swinging relationship and watch other dudes fuck you” that I simply can’t ignore!

What do you think?