I'm meeting my ex's girlfriend Colleen

As you may recall from my Who is Colleen?  post, my ex has been dating someone steadily pretty much since right after I moved out.

My son’s birthday is coming up, so of course my ex and I need to discuss party arrangements.  Wildly into dinosaurs right now, my son wants to go to the museum and have a dino themed party.  I looked into it and it’s crazy expensive. We aren’t the kind of people who think it makes sense to spend hundreds of dollars on a kid’s party.  So last weekend, when my ex dropped my son off to me, we sat down to talk about party preparations.  We agreed that we would do a dinner with grandparents and family on my son’s actual birthday, then on the Sat we would let him invite 7 of his friends to the museum.

Fine. Good.

Then my ex says “I would like Colleen to come to the museum party. Are you okay with that?”

Am I okay with that. Hmm.

I should point out that generally speaking, my ex is not an asshole.  He has his moments for sure, but with this kind of stuff, he’s pretty decent.

We open a bottle of wine to talk.  Our son is doing a puzzle nearby.

I tell him that honestly, I’m not sure whether I’m comfortable with it being just him, me, and her, as hosts at the museum party – especially since my son didn’t include her daughters on his short list of invitees.  He suggests that her nanny could come and help out as well.  That doesn’t make it better!  So we decide that she will come to the dinner on his actual birthday.

Fuck.  She’s coming to dinner.  She’ll meet my parents.

I say it feels weird – not jealous weird – but I suppose it’s weird for her as well.  He says that she’s quite sensitive to the situation and in fact, “is probably more sensitive to how you would feel about things that I am”.  Okay, she doesn’t sound so bad.  I ask him to tell me a little bit more about her.  Here’s what I find out first:

  • After we split, he went on dates with five women.  He met them online.  She was one of them.

WHAT?  Okay, I kind of get stuck on this one.  He met five women.  Now he’s had a girlfriend for 8-ish months.  FIVE.  DATES.  I think I’ve met 30 men in the same time frame – those are the ones I’ve met in person.  God knows how many I’ve interacted with.  And y’all know what that’s gotten me (okay, sure, I concede there has been some great sex).

Recounting this to some girlfriends after the fact, they all commented on the fact that some men seem to not be able to be alone for any real period of time.  They need to jump right into something else.

Anyway… here’s the summary of what I now know:

  • She has two daughters, one the same age as my son
  • She split from her ex around the same time we split
  • Their split is not amicable
  • She’s more liberal than I am (and I’m pretty liberal)
  • She’s shorter and a few dress sizes smaller (I couldn’t leave this fact out. Her ass will be smaller so I might as well just get used to that now)
  • She’s an economist
  • He thinks we will like each other
  • She’s good to him

Really, what else is there to know?

Well…instead of meeting her four weeks from now as we had planned….I get a call from my ex last night to arrange meeting up to see our son’s spring concert, which is tonight.  We sort it out and then he suggests perhaps I could meet Colleen after the concert, instead of waiting until the birthday party.  So, yup, instead of having four weeks to get my head around all of this, I’m going to meet her TONIGHT.

Hmm.

0 thoughts on “I'm meeting my ex's girlfriend Colleen

    • I don’t really care about her ass…I’m more curious than anything what she looks like, simply because I was with my ex for 15 years. Will she look like the ones he was with before me? Was I the exception? That kind of thing – intellectual interest more than jealousy.

    • I actually hope I do like her, since she’s spending a lot of time with my son. It will be way worse for me if I don’t…because then I will worry about the attitudes and behaviors that she is (explicitly or implicitly) passing on to him.

  1. Kids parties are completely out of control down where I live. Parents are brain dead. I went to a 6-year old party that was like a modest high school prom.

    This is the modern world. Splintered families. My kid’s friend has seven grandparents. SEVEN.

    It’s not just men. There are people who cannot stand to be alone. They’ll suffer any number of miseries to save themselves from their solitude. Give me a book and a quiet room and I’m good to go.

    Colleen. Irish. Could go either way.

    • That’s true – it’s not just men, but people talk about men as if they have to line the next one up before they say goodbye to the current one. I’m not sure that behavior is as frequent in women?

  2. I think this is a good thing. Then any discomfort or otherwise issues can be out there before the whole meeting of the parents and birthday thing. I have no idea how I would feel but as you said, your ex is not a complete ass. I’d give him credit at least for that part. And he seems really happy, 5 women and this one for 8 months. Not an ass, just not suited for you to be married to.

  3. My ex was the same way. Always had someone to date and he’s already remarried. Lol. I can’t even find someone I want to go on a second date with. I’m on 30+ guys I’ve met in the last three years too – just without the great sex. I’m too much of a prude. 🙂

      • OMG – ME TOO!!! What sucks is that some of them are actually really good guys but you just meet them at the wrong time when they are fresh out of their marriage and still healing.

        • OMG we should totally write about that! Oh, wait…

          Yeah, timing is everything. It totally sucks. I find there is way more variation in what people are looking for at this age. Way more confusing and complicated. But if it was boring I would have nothing to write about.

    • Awwwww, thank, Hook. I’m going to add “best butt” to the list of things to mention when I put my online dating profiles back up (along with “pillow riden vixen” which you also came up with).

What do you think?