Failed online dating openers

I’m a little distracted by meeting Matthew.  While I’m trying my best to write about “P” and his insanity, or my Faraway Lover, it’s been a little challenging.  So I’m going into the folder on my computer that contains the screen shots and funny things that I keep meaning to write about, but haven’t.  These will be short and sweet.

First in the series are “failed openers“.  They should be pretty explanatory but I couldn’t resist adding my own commentary.

His willingness to engage me in conversation ended when I asked how he felt about a woman’s brain.

Masturbation is SharingThis one – shockingly – didn’t get a response from me.  At least spell “masturbation” correctly.  Sheesh.

Cocksucker?A long distance (I have no idea where that place even is) attack.  Yup, I blocked him.  Didn’t want to see what “came” next.

FWB?This 25 year-old sure has some balls on him.  Actually, now that I think about it, maybe I should respond 😉

But…then again.  Not sure what beating behind a bush it.  Oh, wait…never mind.  I caught a dude doing that once.

I think that’s plenty for today since this just makes me depressed.  These types of openers far outweigh the normal ones.  And no, I don’t have anything kinky on my profile, I say I’m a Mom, and that I’m looking for a relationship.  I hope men don’t receive this shit from women.

More to come!

0 thoughts on “Failed online dating openers

  1. I had a brief spell on online dating and can safely say I never posted like the nor get any openers like that myself! I got a lot of profile views etc but never anyone actually contacting me, I do find your post amusing because I’ve heard and see some horrendous ones myself but it’s a shame that you ladies have to filter through the bullshit and sometimes miss out on the decent people because muppets like these post embarrassingly, great post!

    Your Friend,


What do you think?