Failed online dating openers

I’m a little distracted by meeting Matthew.  While I’m trying my best to write about “P” and his insanity, or my Faraway Lover, it’s been a little challenging.  So I’m going into the folder on my computer that contains the screen shots and funny things that I keep meaning to write about, but haven’t.  These will be short and sweet.

First in the series are “failed openers“.  They should be pretty explanatory but I couldn’t resist adding my own commentary.

His willingness to engage me in conversation ended when I asked how he felt about a woman’s brain.

Masturbation is SharingThis one – shockingly – didn’t get a response from me.  At least spell “masturbation” correctly.  Sheesh.

Cocksucker?A long distance (I have no idea where that place even is) attack.  Yup, I blocked him.  Didn’t want to see what “came” next.

FWB?This 25 year-old sure has some balls on him.  Actually, now that I think about it, maybe I should respond 😉

But…then again.  Not sure what beating behind a bush it.  Oh, wait…never mind.  I caught a dude doing that once.

I think that’s plenty for today since this just makes me depressed.  These types of openers far outweigh the normal ones.  And no, I don’t have anything kinky on my profile, I say I’m a Mom, and that I’m looking for a relationship.  I hope men don’t receive this shit from women.

More to come!

0 thoughts on “Failed online dating openers

  1. I had a brief spell on online dating and can safely say I never posted like the nor get any openers like that myself! I got a lot of profile views etc but never anyone actually contacting me, I do find your post amusing because I’ve heard and see some horrendous ones myself but it’s a shame that you ladies have to filter through the bullshit and sometimes miss out on the decent people because muppets like these post embarrassingly, great post!

    Your Friend,

    G.S

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