Who is Colleen?

“Who is Colleen?”

This from my Mother, less than a month after I moved out of my old house. She’s asking because my son keeps talking about playdates with Colleen and her two girls. Colleen is the woman my ex was seeing…still seeing…and started seeing what feels like immediately after I moved out. Maybe even before I moved out. 

Now, I actually don’t care about this at all, in the sense of being jealous or wishing that I was back with him.  I know this to be true, because I got a “date report” from my son a couple of weeks after I moved out.  It went like this:

  • Mommy, I saw Daddy tonight on my way home from swimming! [note: he was with his nanny…I’m not one of those Moms who thinks it’s okay for a 5 year-old to be out and about on their own].
  • Really? Where was that?
  • He was at that restaurant we went to last month, in the window!
  • That’s great, honey.
  • He was with Colleen!! You know, XX & XX’s Mommy!

It was at this point that I realized my son was passing on a “date report”.  What was awesome about having a five year-old is that he had no idea at all that this story might be distressing.  It was fact-based and exciting because he saw his Daddy.  What was awesome about knowing that I IN NO WAY regretted my decision was there was no visceral physical response to this information.  I actually thought, “how nice that she has kids”. 

It was that moment I knew I was going to be okay being apart from my ex.

Since then there have been several Colleen stories and factoids delivered to me by my son.  It’s sometimes a bit hard to not be snarky – I am human, after all.  Sometimes I can’t resist trying to get a little bit of info…like this exchange that happened on a car ride:

  • Mommy, did you know that Colleen is from where they make Lego?
  • Oh really?
  • Yes, they make Lego in… um… Mommy what is the country where they speak Danish?
  • Denmark.
  • Yes! That’s it!  Colleen is from Denmark. Where they make Lego.

So I’m driving.  Two hands on the wheel.  Imagining of course that she’s even taller and more blonde and with a smaller butt so,  because I can’t resist…I ask “Is she blonde like Mommy”? 

I’m told by my son that she is.  When I recount this story to my ex (of course implying that the blonde part was volunteered, not asked) he laughs and tells me that Colleen is actually a redhead.  So although I’m not jealous in the least, I’m still irked by the thought that not only will she be taller and skinnier (neither of which are based in fact at all) but now she has that hair color which is potentially even rarer than mine.  Great.

But you know what?  She’s welcome to him.

0 thoughts on “Who is Colleen?

  1. You know it’s always our imaginations that stuff us up right? Bet she’s not skinny and perkier than you at all.

    I know I do it, I envision usualy a woman akin to the female adonis and then when I actually see them my bubble pops and my self confidence is rectified.

    It’s the small victories sometimes. Hang in there.

    • I have no doubt that she will be “real” and have her own faults…If I think about what someone else has that I don’t, I focus on the thing(s) that I wish could be different about me – like have a smaller ass. It’s rarely about the whole picture – which of course it should be!

      But never mind about her faults or lack thereof…she gets the gift of my ex and all his foibles.

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