So back in November I wrote about this great “bumper crop” of boys that had surfaced. I had optimism and thought that perhaps I’d finally get some great dates out of this whole mess. Alas…while it took a while, they didn’t really work out. But I have learned another lesson about men and how they really don’t like to close doors (thanks Mom, you were right. But you don’t know I write this so you won’t see the kudos).
So… First to discuss is Jason. This door isn’t fully shut but – using this analogy – it’s like a door that doesn’t quite latch but it stays shut for a while until there’s a gust of wind somewhere in the house and then it opens, just a little. Not sure that works but stay with me and I’ll tell you the story.
Last you heard of Jason, he was this fantastic lay and a great conversationalist (admittedly I’m not sure how much I wrote about that part. But he was intelligent and kind and nice and all those great things). He actually found a guy for me that would participate in a threesome with us. Well endowed (9″ with the photo to prove it) and young (27 I think!) and he thought I was smoking hot which is a great compliment once you’ve hit a certain age. Which never happened sadly because he ended up bailing due to a work issue. You can refresh your memory here, if you are so inclined:
I had much hope for him. He really did seem to be a great combo. But, it didn’t end up as I expected. He was a little different after that last time we were together. I remember him looking a me nervously at this moment when I was in his arms, head resting on his shoulder, and my inside voice said “you are freaking him out” but didn’t think much of it (I have also learned to listed to my gut!!). Anyway, he became slower to respond and then always seemed busy. It’s not like my schedule is a picnic either – I have my son every other week. I’ve also been pretty good at focusing on my girlfriends when I don’t have my son. But…there was a definite change. I could feel it.
One night I was at a very close friend’s birthday party at a restaurant I knew was 5 minutes away from his place. I texted him – he texted back. I suggested since I was drunk and looked hot and he was at home, perhaps I could come by since I hadn’t seen him in a while. He made an excuse of some sort. Not quite right. Some might think he was married but I didn’t think that was the case. There were other examples where it didn’t make sense. I thought perhaps he had found someone else. So finally I said to him, via text, that I knew there was something going on and I wasn’t going to chase him. Then he told me the truth – his father lives with him and is quite ill. He takes care of him. Any time he goes out, he has to arrange for nursing care for him.
Okay. I believed him. But was frustrated he never told me that in the first place. I could have saved myself a lot of wondering.
Then it was the holidays and life got busy with work and holidays and he had some travel for work. But then, he tells me – again quite reluctantly but not worth recounting – HE FOUND OUT HIS EX GIRLFRIEND GAVE BIRTH TO A CHILD THAT IS HIS. WTF? This was his last serious relationship and she broke up with him because she didn’t want to settle down and wanted to party. Now she has a 9 month old. Yes of course he’s getting the appropriate testing etc., but now he’s trying to spend time with his child and evaluate what, if anything, he wants to do with that relationship.
Needless to say, I haven’t seen him. Actually I did once, for 30 minutes, one day where I was at home and he was passing by my place and we had a quickie. Other than that, haven’t seen him. He texts me every once in a while – told me that things would be very different with us if his situation was different, and that “the sex with you was the best I’ve had out of anyone I’ve dated”.
Here’s the crazy thing….all this, and we’ve actually only ever had 2 dates. How does that happen?