Bravery in email. Or how I tried to take care of my heart this morning.

Good Morning, [The Model]…
 
I woke up in the middle of the night last night and my thoughts turned to you, so needed to put “pen to paper” before I leave this morning for my trip.  You asked me whether it bothers me that you are talking to others.  The honest answer is no….as long as you are also talking to me.  I do have expectations and for those I will not apologize.  I have made a commitment to myself that I will not settle.  I want to be pursued…to feel like someone is seeking me out to learn more, talk more, feel more… with me.  Part of the delight of a new potential lover or relationship is that building desire and anticipation and excitement of someone new.  What fuels that is contact.  
 
I guess the bottom line for me is I don’t feel that from you.  I know there could be many reasons…you are busy, your expectation of frequency of contact is different from mine, or perhaps you just aren’t that into me and I am not the priority you said I was.  It does pain me on some level to be writing this to you because I have enjoyed all of our contact and I felt a real connection in our phone conversation.  I would like to get to know you better.  I would like to actually see you to gauge our in person and physical chemistry.  But I’m not willing to be the sole pursuer or feel like I’m somebody’s backup.
 
Hopefully you will not interpret this as drama or those things that guys say when a woman is forthright with what she wants or shows any sign of being slightly complex.  Of course I am complex…  I think you can handle the honesty otherwise I wouldn’t bother.  But I wanted you to know why you won’t hear from me.  If I’m wrong and have misinterpreted then please, fight to have me back.  This isn’t at all about me not being interested in you. 
 
I’m off to enjoy a typical rainy and cold October day.  I hope work is fun and you have that low-key weekend you are looking for.  And if I never hear from you again, please know I sincerely wish you all the best in the world at finding the woman you are seeking. 

What do you think?