The first date with Drew

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It wasn’t that he didn’t look like his pictures, but the way he was animated in real life was ever so slightly different. And when he opened his mouth in a big smile to greet me, I noticed he was missing a tooth.

I immediately thought of Ariel, and if you haven’t read that story, you should.

I also told myself not to be so bloody superficial and to just give it a chance. Off we went. Continue reading

Meeting Drew.

I met Drew on Bumble the week before my vacation. Atypically, I swiped right even though all he had on his profile was his height (6’6″). In hindsight, I’m not sure why I swiped right – he has only two photos and neither show his face. I suppose it was a moment of weakness. 

He responded quickly to my opening message and we texted about work and the heatwave our city was experiencing. He noticed the unicorn emoji in my profile and later asked if I was one. I told him he’d need to define it before I answered; and he mentioned poly relationships. He’d been in one before and said it was “fun”.
I told him I wasn’t poly and wasn’t interested in a relationship with more than one person. But I liked that he even knew what it was – it spoke of an openness I don’t often find.

I explain there were circumstances where I could share. We agreed it was fun but not all the time. We talked about what we were both looking for – he’s been out of his marriage for a year, so while he’s dated since he broke up (something I look for now, ever since Tony), he’s not rushing into anything.

He proactively asked “what’s next? Drinks sometime?” And I said sure. 

We established mutual interest in sports, the arts, going out dancing. He wasn’t turned off my by being a Mom, and he was keen to meet. He gave me his number and we moved to text. 

He was bummed we couldn’t make our schedules work to meet up before I left on vacation. We tried to meet after a sporting event but it didn’t work…I texted and he didn’t respond but the next morning apologized, saying his phone had died and he was still at work quite late.

It is a good reminder how much context matters when communicating with someone in the early days of texting. When someone is otherwise responsive and communicative, and has expressed interest, I don’t think much of an extended silence.

We traded funny selfies. He would ask me questions by text. We established a mutual love of kissing (but who doesn’t??). 

We continued a steady conversation while I was away on vacation. I sent him a pic from Hy’s pool and he was appropriately flirtatious, saying he’d “like to see more of that”. He sent me a hilarious “duck face” selfie and I responded in kind – a first for me. 

He made me laugh. We traded witty barbs. He was appreciative and responsive and didn’t cross the line into being crass. 

And he asked again when we were going to go out. 

He’s a cancer, for those of you who follow such things. He said cancer’s are “giving, caring, thoughtful”. So far, he’d proven to be those things. 

I sent him another pool selfie, showing a bit more bikini this time, and he replied I knew how to make a man’s day. I told him he was smooth and he said he might not be smart but he was quick.

I liked our interactions.

I didn’t like that he was in the same industry as Tony. It potentially meant he was unable to ever make proactive plans. Worse, they may know each other. I cared less about the latter. 

We established a potential date to meet – the day after I came back, and my only kid-free night for another week. He asked to talk to me on the phone – and I liked our banter. Especially after some of my recent experiences, I liked that he was proactive and flirty and willing to wish me “sweet dreams” and say he was excited to meet me, but not overbearing. 

I had dropped Liam off at my parents. Drew and I agreed to meet at my place and then go to a local park to talk and drink beer. I liked the idea, frankly. Mostly because it was different. It meant we could focus on talking and enjoy the warm weather.

But when he showed up on my front steps, greeting me with a big smile, despite the multiple pictures I’d received of him, my first physical impression was “oh…no….”

But as I’m on an ongoing journey of challenging my assumptions and “types”, I took the plunge, locked my door, and walked with him to the park.

Civility shouldn’t be rare. Or, why I almost cried twice in 24 hours.

I’m on a plane flying home from New York, where I’ve been the last several days. It was wonderful but I always look forward to getting home after too many nights in a hotel room. A breakfast of bacon, eggs, some toast and coffee should not cost $35 US.

I did not seek a debaucherous vacation, nor did debauchery find me anyway. As you know, sometimes it comes to you. I am however sporting four very large hickeys on the front of my neck, with no concealer to be found. But that’s not the reason I’m writing at the moment.

My level of patience and optimism with my dating life has been cyclical – right now I’m in a place where the lack of common decency shown by so many gets to me. It’s not just my experience, it’s those of my friends as well.  Continue reading

My brain is never quiet but my words are. 

I write this from Hy’s balcony, enjoying the weather and sipping a coffee. It’s been a very low-key and perfect few days so far. Good friends are precious.

While I’m sure some of you would love to hear me say we’ve been out been out partying, picking up men and having crazy orgasmic sexcapades, that wasn’t on the agenda. Sure, orgasms would be fantastic but so far they haven’t been sought out or received.

While still at home, I Bumble matched with a man temporarily in my city who lives in her city (the chance of that oh-so-slim), but despite being super keen to meet, he says he’s come down with a summer cold. It’s the closest I’ve come to an orgasm on this leg of my trip. Oh well. Continue reading

So ready for a vacation. 

I’ve had a few extra long weekends so far this year (which have been amazing) but with five weeks vacation to use, I needed to take some time off.

The last three summers I’ve taken Liam on two-week vacations. This year he’s going somewhere with his Dad, but I was able to find four nights where Liam and I can go to the ocean. But that’s not until next month.

So without plans, I booked two weeks off this month. It worked with the timing of my project and I figured I would sort out specific plans later. One of those weeks I have Liam and we will enjoy a few day trips, excursions and some visits to friends. I’m looking forward to having some relaxed time with him.

The other week I will be travelling to spend time with a close girlfriend and I can’t wait. It’s been a few months since we’ve seen each other and given what we’ve been through in that time, I think we’re both looking forward to it. I need some girl time.  Continue reading

Despite all of my progress…

I have Father issues. After my Dad and Mom split up, my Dad went to work in another city for over a year. I was 7 years old, and it felt like forever. I took a plane to visit him once or twice and he wrote me letters.

But despite the relatively short time and connectivity he felt as a grown-up, it was very different for me as a child.

I never really internalized my Father’s love for me until much later in my life. He was the kind of parent who praised me for my good work along with a reminder I could always do better. As a driven professional adult, I appreciate this, but as a child, it doesn’t feel good. It felt like I was never good enough and my Father didn’t love me for who I was.

He had a second child with my stepmother and he became much more overt about his love.

But the damage was done.

Continue reading

Six weeks of personal training

Sometimes I feel like my weight and fitness level is the remaining area of my life where I don’t have a good handle on things. I think I can write that here without eye rolling or backlash, because hopefully any of you who’ve read more than a handful of my posts know I believe I can always progress further in everything. I never sit back and say “wow hey I’m all that and anyone should be lucky to have me.” I’m not egotistical. Yuck.

I guess said another way, I’m confident about having my shit together with work and career, parenting (most days), friendships, money… so many of the things by which we tend to measure life success. I also think I can improve on those fronts. But while I am confident about how I look most days (biologically gifted with height, a decently pleasing countenance, and hair my stylist reminds me every time I see her that people pay literally hundreds of dollars to achieve), I’m not as fit as I should be. I’d like to weigh about 15 lbs less, and have a smoother ass.

As much as I have come to love my body in the last few years, its ability to feel pleasure from so many things other women struggle with (orgasms every which way – yay!), and the pleasure it gives to others… I want to be fitter. Continue reading

A gorgeous Saturday afternoon, nothing but my thoughts.

Of course that’s not true; I’m with a girlfriend, her parents, and our three collective children. We are, quite literally, in the middle of nowhere. It’s been a night and day of sun, water, swimming, laughs, music, day drinking, and snacks.

I haven’t had any stories I’ve had the time to make a whole blog post but I thought I’d catch up on a few things (and people).

Work has been super busy. Evenings after putting Liam to bed, weekend monitoring of emails, and the like. We are really close to a big deadline and while it’s not gone super smoothly, so far the problems are all manageable. I was brought in to save it and I really hope I prove to have done so. Continue reading

Blogging in the Big Apple

I’m coming to the Big Apple in mid-July. Last time I missed a few of you and would hate for that to happen again.

A few trips ago I got some bloggers together. Some of us used our blog names and some revealed a little more. We drank a lot of wine and had a lot of laughs.

I think it would be fun to do it again. Who’s in? 

If you want to reply privately just use my contact me page. 



…and then there were five.

Alternate title: I think I hosted my first sex party.

I’ve been staring at this screen for a full five minutes. I’m not even sure where to start. The facts, I suppose.

Lewis and Clark were confirmed to come over. Lewis had asked me whether I’d be up for DP and I said sure as long as he was patient and worked me up to it. We had a plan.

He told me also wanted to invite a third man who had a “huge cock”. Continue reading